Happy Monday! DNR anniversary coming up, woman blames IBS for car crash, Derek has turkey lurky time, Romaine does the chicken dance, English starling invasion turns out to be a lie, Times Square manhole explosion, Britney Spears teases pregnancy, ADD Jeff memorial update, FDA overrun with field mice, Chaz in La is worried about visiting NYC, Billy in Philly scratches an itch, German man gets too many shots, Hooker Hotline, Green Acres, Jockman Jeff talks ADD Jeff, Tim from MI talks scratchers, Dr. Jay has a Last Call joke, another Patterson on the move, Kmart down to last three stores, Jussie Smollett has a new single, Liz Cheney says Trump did it, Romaine gets into Abbott Elementary, and Still Hookin Tracy butt dials to end the show.