May Day! Derek reviews the new calendar month, Romaine is mad at the earth and a Fox update, Derek cuts himself, Derek’s mom tells a gay infiltration meeting, Met Gala is tonight, LA Philharmonic brings woman to orgasm, Mila Kunis will not be in Fantastic Four, Super Mario Brothers streams on Twitter, Hooker Hotline, Ben in Seattle talks Meghan Trainor, JD in WVa talks vagina, Dan in Orlando time shifts on farts, Sunny Hostin talks View farts, Big Peter talks inspections, NIta in TX talks bus driver, Gwyneth Paltrow only gets a dollar, E. Jean Carroll case update, Menendez brothers, and Bohemian Rhapsody.